My Life is Average Blurbs...

Today, a new guy joined our school swim team. I noticed that every time this guy pushed off the wall, he wouldn't do a streamline but instead posed like Super Man as he went through the water. We later had a race and he beat everybody by at least twenty seconds. I'm on to you, Clark Kent...MLIA.
My friend gave her sister three goldfish and a snail for her brithday. Her sister named the three fish Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and the snail Snape. Within a few weeks, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all dead, while Snape is still alive. I can't help but feel a little suspicious. MLIA.

Today, I got paid to run around in a meadow with a three-year-old while we both wore fairy wings. I'm a college graduate, and I think my job is infinitely better than my friends who work in offices from 9 to 5. MLIA.

Today, my brother called me to ask if I could find a turkey costume for him. Why? He plans to wear it for a marathon on Thanksgiving. What he doesn't know is that I found a pilgrim's costume as well, and plan to chase him with a fork and knife for the entire four miles. Needless to say, I can't wait for Thanksgiving. MLIA.

Today, while babysitting my niece, I noticed an eyelash on her cheek. I brushed it from her cheek, held it on the tip of my finger and told her to make a wish and blow it off so her wish would come true. She closed her eyes and thought real hard. She then whispered, "I wish my eyelash would grow back" and blew. I love that little girl.

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see what he was up to. He replied with "about to get naked, pour hot water on myself, apply chemicals to my body to remove dead skin and create a pleasant aroma". I may never say "taking a shower" again. MLIA.

A few days I ago, when I was coming home from Karate class, I saw a black SUV, with tinted windows. The liscense plate read "IMBATMAN" and had the Batman symbol on the rear windsheild. We drove up to see who was driving. It was an old man dressed as Batman, cape, ears and all. It made my life. MLIA.

A couple weeks ago, my two friends and I walked to Walmart. My one friend and I climbed into a cart and my other friend pushed us around. She then walked away. All of a sudden, the cart started to move. I turned around to see an old guy (had to be at least 75) pushing the cart while his wife was yelling "JERRY! JERYY THAT'S NOT OUR CART! THERE'S CHILDREN IN IT!" My other friend was at the end of the aisle laughing so hard she was crying. MLIA.

Today I was in math class. Someone who didn't understand the lesson yelled out "This is really hard!". My teacher turned around and said "That's what she said." in a very serious voice and continued to write on the board. I go to an all girls school and my teacher is a nun. MLIA.

Last weekend, I was at a sleepover, and we were playing Truth or Dare. It got to me, and I said truth. The question was "What is the farthest you've ever wanted to go with a guy?" My response? "Africa" Everyone accepted this as an a legitimate answer. MLIA.

A couple days ago, the seniors at my school played their annual prank. Normally they do something stupid, like drain the pool, or cover the floor in oil. But this year, they got 3 pigs and labeled them 1, 2 and 4. The administration has been looking for #3 for the last 3 days. MLIA.

Today, I went to my locker to get a book during my Geometry class. While I was at my locker a janitor walked by and said "ssh" and he ran away. Two seconds later another janitor walked by saying "Which way did he go?! Were playing tag and I'm it!" I'm proud to have these men clean my school. MLIA.

This weekend, some frat boys at my college dressed up as the Hamburgler. They then proceeded to run to the McDonalds down the street and jump behind the counter and steal hamburgers. I was walking down Greek Row when a police officer pulls up, trying not to laugh, and asks if I've seen the Hamburgler around. I love my school. MLIA.

Today, on my way to work, the saxophone player in the Metro station started playing "If You're Happy and You Know It." At the right time during the song, all the commuters clapped their hands twice. I didn't realize DC was so happy. Or so awesome. MLIA.

Today, I was on mysterygoogle.com. I searched for "I'm bored what should I do?" I got " slap the person on your left. So I did.... it was my forensic science teacher. he laughed, and said" mystery google?" then turned his screen around and showed me HE had just typed that in. MLIA.

Last year, I gave my boyfriend a home-made voucher-book for his birthday with things like "Good for one kiss" and "Good for one back rub", but I left the three last pages blank so he could fill them in himself. Today, he turned in the last voucher with the words "Good for one accepted proposal" on it. Nick, I love you. MLIA.

The other day, I walked by a church that had a sign saying "Because Google can't answer everything." MLIA.

Today, I was riding the T (Boston subway) with my friends and we thought it would be funny to have a Boston "Tea" Party, so we got out iced tea and small cups, and started drinking tea while faking British accents. As we were getting off, a 60 year old man who had been chuckling to himself the whole time says "I appreciate the sentiment, but the accents need a little work." He was British. MLIA.

Today, I started a new job at a store in the mall. My best friend works there already, and in the associate handbook the dress code says: DRESS CODE (WEAR CLOTHES). When I got to the store today to begin training, the manager said in a sincerly relieved tone, "I'm glad you knew what to wear". This makes me wonder how many employees have shown up for their first day naked. MLIA.

AND...

Today I mentioned to my co-worker that none of the English teachers at my school are having kids, but that three of the math teachers are pregnant. She responded, "I hear they're better at multiplying." MLIA.